In a viral TikTok video, Kentucky-based kindergarten teacher Emily Perkins emphasizes the importance of parents teaching their children to accept the word "no." According to Perkins, this seemingly simple lesson is foundational for a child's ability to learn and respect authority figures in school. The video sparked widespread agreement among educators who frequently encounter students struggling with boundaries. Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor and resilience expert, further supports this idea, stating that understanding "no" is an essential life skill. Children need consistent limits to thrive socially and academically, especially as they transition into structured learning environments like kindergarten.
A Teacher’s Advice on Preparing Kids for School
In the vibrant world of early childhood education, one Kentucky kindergarten teacher named Emily Perkins has captured attention by offering straightforward advice: teach your child to accept the word "no." Perkins, who also shares parenting tips as a mother of two, explained in a widely viewed TikTok post that many parents avoid saying "no" to their children because it triggers emotional reactions. However, she argues that failing to establish clear boundaries at home makes it harder for teachers to manage classrooms effectively. For instance, during critical moments such as fire drills, there simply isn't time to elaborate on why certain actions aren't allowed. Instead, children must learn to trust that "no" means exactly what it says.
Perkins highlights how important it is for kids to develop resilience and adaptability before entering kindergarten. She assures parents that while teachers will assist with practical tasks—like opening snacks or tying shoes—the real challenge lies in fostering self-regulation. By allowing children to experience disappointment and guiding them through difficult emotions, parents prepare them to handle challenges gracefully. This approach aligns with Dr. Deborah Gilboa's perspective, which underscores the value of setting and maintaining reasonable expectations for behavior. When children understand and respect limits, they become more capable learners and better contributors to group settings.
Many educators chimed in on social media, agreeing that teaching children to respect the word "no" significantly reduces classroom disruptions. One teacher commented that arguing over every instruction leaves both students and teachers exhausted daily. Another noted that gentle parenting doesn't equate to permissive parenting; validating feelings doesn't mean abandoning discipline. These insights reflect the broader consensus among professionals that consistency and firmness are vital tools for nurturing well-rounded individuals.
From her own experiences as a teacher and parent, Perkins stresses that explanations can follow after initial refusals. While she enjoys elaborating on reasons later, immediate situations demand direct responses without prolonged debate. This balance ensures structure while promoting mutual understanding between adults and children.
Reflections on the Importance of Boundaries
As someone reflecting on this discussion, I find immense value in Perkins' message about preparing children emotionally for formal education. It reminds me that learning extends beyond academics—it includes navigating interpersonal dynamics and managing emotions. Teaching children to respect "no" empowers them to grow into responsible, cooperative members of society. At the same time, it encourages parents and educators to collaborate in creating supportive yet structured environments where young minds can flourish. Ultimately, embracing these lessons benefits not only individual growth but also strengthens communities built on respect and communication.